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Lord of the Rings VS Harry Potter

I'm a little ashamed I'm even blogging about this because to me there really is no comparison. BUT I had this debate with a close friend the other day and I feel I need to end it once and for all, not just between me and the friend, but the entire world.

Lord of the Rings wins. It doesn't only win it really really wins. You probably already know why but I'll review a couple things anyway. In fact, lets make this a mini-series

Today, Installment number 1 "Bad Guys"

It's real stupid how all the bad guys and good guys in ALL THE LAND are so closely tied together in Harry Potter.

In Middle Earth the good guys and bad guys didn't all know each other and go to school together back in thier younger days. In HP every little SECRET plot twist goes back to Harry's parents and one of his school teachers, or one of his teachers and a bad guy, or a bad guy and one of his parents.... Did evil people exist outside this small circle of friends? Maybe in that world there was competition among the evil bad guys and they had clicks. What if Harry and his friends had to find out secret evil pasts of people who went to school somewhere OTHER than hogwarts? Like Cornell...or SLCC? I think it would have been even scarier if Voldemort had been homeschooled in Canada. WOW... that really has potential.

Anyway, Lord of the Rings is much more wholistic and inclusive of it's bad guys. Worm tongue came from Rohan, The balrog came from hell. Cave trolls I assume came from caves, I'm not really sure where Mountain trolls came from. Sauron's past isn't really revealed in the series of published books though they say it's explained elsewhere. Maybe he started out good and was turned evil by multiple female rejections. Gollum was once sort of a hobbit like person, but not from the same area or bloodlines as Frodo. Heck there were even 3 different groups of orcs who all hated each other. In fact of ALL the many bad guys, Saruman was the only one who we can assume had a similar education to a good guy (Gandalf). Maybe they were old wizard highschool band buddies. I assume they went to the same school because they are of the same "Order", maybe Saruman was a few years ahead of Gandalf. It seems clear that by the time Gandalf came through the Cher hair craze had died down and people were more into hacky sacking or long boarding. So yeah. It's dumb when stories affix universal bad guys to local good guys like in Harry Potter. It's way better when the bad guys become bad in thier own way and it doesn't necesarily have to be tied to some small town humble hero. That way the small potato has to overcome the greater evil... yadda yadda.. save the world.... Oh yeah, let's not forget the Sheeba the spider(i think thats her name). She probably had just a regular spider's background...No wierd strings attached (get it) to Frodo, OR Aragorn, or anyone else for that matter....Born in some dark place. Lots of siblings, she probably ate most of them to help her get big. Maybe she had a couple boyfriends that got her into rock climbing or spellunking, before she sucked out thier insides. I doubt she was ever in love with frodo's mother, although maybe if she had been she could have saved him a lot of trouble by promising to watch out for him... Outwardly hating the half of him that reminded her of his father who beat her out for his mother's affection, but sadly loving the memories conjured deep in her soul as she looked into those same defiant eyes that Lilly had..... We don't know what Frodo's mom's name was, but I think it could have been Lilly.

Do you get my point? Lord of the Rings bad guys are much more believable.

BRAD ROCK IS DUMB

Ok so for a while now I've been wanting to expose Brad Rock, the deseret News Sports guy as the not funny twit that he really is. Now I don't actually mind his sports coverage but I HATE his "ROCK ON" column, in which he seems to think he is funnier than Connan Obrien. Allow me to break down his latest article... His words are in pink, my narrative in blue.

Brad Rock Proving ground
It's tough being quarterback at a famous school like Alabama.
How tough?(tell me brad) John Parker Wilson had his cell number stolen by LSU fans and posted on the Internet. (Oh THAT Tough!)
Then there are those ridiculous expectations. (Oh yeah I HATE those)
In a November Sports Illustrated story, Jay Barker, the last Tide QB to win a national title (1992) said, "I just hope he can go away with a championship. That's where your legacy is, how you make your stamp as an Alabama quarterback."
Here in Utah, we don't worry about things like national championships. We just decide a guy's legacy by whether he comes out a winner in the annual BYU-Utah game.
The rest is just details. (Ok maybe he's not trying to be funny yet. )
Who's who
Plaxico Burress was the NFL's best story last week after showing up at a hospital with a gunshot wound in his thigh. Subsequent reports said the New York Giants receiver accidentally shot himself at a nightclub.
He originally identified himself to medical staffers as "Harris Smith" and said he had been shot at an Applebee's restaurant.
That's the problem with getting arrested when you're a pro athlete.
If they recognize you, you're in trouble.
If they don't, that's not a good sign, either. (Ok I can handle that one I guess)
Known cohort
Rock On sources say police didn't get suspicious until Burress/Harris told them he had been out scarfing hot wings with Ron Mexico. (HAHAHAHAHA....Wait who is Ron Mexico? Oh, I googled it. I guess it was an alias Michael Vick used once. HILARIOUS! Now we're rolling!)
Course distractions
The cost of golf has become ridiculous.
At the Royal Links Golf Club in Las Vegas, it'll set you back $225 — and that's just for the caddy.
"Par Mates" are female caddies who, according to their Web site, are hired to "keep golfers company." Other responsibilities include calling in food and beverage orders, keeping score, repairing divots, fixing ball marks, cleaning clubs and helping with yardage.
The Mates have names like Erica (advertised as Penthouse Pet), Brianne and Fawne.
"Now more of what you come to Vegas for!" says the Web site.
Wait, don't most people come for the 99 cent breakfasts? (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAAHHAHA!!!!!
It's SOOO TRUE! Food really IS cheap in Vegas! HA HA HAHAHAHAH, oh Brad...)
Love conquers all
Expedia's "Go Like Pro" survey recently revealed that 18 percent of pro football fans would never marry a fan of their team's biggest rival.
Good thing the survey wasn't about college. (why Brad?)BYU quarterbacks coach Brandon Doman not only married a Ute fan, they had their wedding reception at Rice-Eccles Stadium.
Who says true love isn't bigger than sports?
Unless, of course, sports are your only true love.

(what does that mean? "who says true love isn't bigger than sports?" ok so that's a question right? followed up by "unless of course sports are your only true love" Unless who? what? Am I only supposed to answer the question if sports are or AREN'T my only true love? I'm sure this is funny Brad, cuz you're hilarious, so I wont question it anymore just cuz it has confused me. Oh yeah the laugh... HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHA. You're such a funny dude! Brad!)

Finishing burst
Jacksonville Jaguar running back Fred Taylor passed O.J. Simpson on the all-time career rushing list last weekend.
Which is a nice accomplishment.
Still, as the Juice proved, the true test of greatness is how long a guy can stay in the news after his career his over. (or maybe the TRUE test of greatness is how long a guy can keep WRITING the news after his career SHOULD be over.)

Utes vs Cougars 08

I guess we didn't really STORM the field. It was more like a nice little stroll once the crazies had all made it out of our way. Since this is just a stupid blog and I am past the days of living and dying by the success of my favorite sports teams, I won't do as I would have 5 years ago by ripping on the blue nation but I do think there were some REALLY COOL things that happened that night that I would like to relive a little here. That being said I am a Ute fan and somewhat of an anti-old stubborn dude BYU fan so I might get a couple jabs in here and there. Don't worry Y fans, If you're cool enough to be reading my blog I'm sure none of this will be directed at you.
1. Got my pic taken with Paul Kruger. This is actually the one i took for Tim, but it's a better picture so who cares. The kid walking into the picture tapped Kruger on the arm and asked him why he didnt take his interception to the house. Looking up at me and Timmy he shook his head in disgust and said "No kidding dude" (I have a hard time cheering for some types of football stars due to things I heard of happening at thier parties and among the athletic departments to cover those things up, but not for this dude. He's an RM who got his stomach sliced open by a thug with a knife while defending his loudmouth little brother who yelled something stupid. He also kicks butt)

2. The coolest part of the night was when the Y guys started doing the Haka before the game started and the home team stormed thier party and nearly caused a brawl. In my weeks at the MTC the Polynesian dudes would do the Haka almost every sunday night before thier homies left for thier first areas. There was a Hawaiin Elder in my district who got irked when his fellow Polys would teach it to thier whiteboy companions. I think the Polynesians on the U sideline may have had similar feelings as these, and since probably more than half the Hakateers at that game were pretty little whiteboys I must admit that it gave me pleasure to see it broken up. A lot of people are saying it was disrespectful for the Utes to do that but come on U.C., BYU stormed the field in the middle of Utah's senoir's night presentations which everyone could clearly see was pretty lame and immature. Anyway, there was an exciting spirit of hatred that made each play that much more fun to watch.

3. We won- Josh and I couldn't help but laugh to see Tim cheer. He wasn't cheering toward the field. Instead he turned around completely and cheered toward the various BYU fans behind us in the stadium. My personal favorite was when he started yelling "Yeah Baby! arent you glad you paid 200 bucks to watch this?!" (we overheard them before the game talking about how much it cost them). It's always fun to have to friends like that. Like 3 years ago I went to Cedar Point (awesome rollercoaster park in Ohio) with him, my sister and some other people. He had done extensive research on each ride and actually made us sprint to the entrance and to the first few rollercoasters.

4. I'm sorry Brian Johnsen. I thought you sort of sucked. You don't.

5. I'm sort of sorry Max Hall. You had me worried and I thought you were by far the better QB going into the game. You played very poorly, and I think if Bobby Anae had been smart he would have kept running it and it would have been a much closer game.

6. Austin Collie. I'm pretty annoyed that you are good because I don't like you, but yes, you are good.

7. BCS part 2. Looking over the season, I'd say we aren't as good as the 04 team. BUT, looking at individual quarters, and specifically that last game, I think we CAN be even better. So bring on anyone and lets see how we do.

okay thats enough.

4 people.

Ok that's actually more than I thought.

LaNae, I sort of thought you would be the only one. Good Job. Ashley, Sorry I bailed on the talent show idea. It's actually because I can't swim but was too ashamed to admit it on that group email. Marcey huh? Kind of a surprise... How the heck is Ogden treating you? Is that where you are? Derek- I think some of the better posts are earlier on. Somewhere back there you'll find an email from a disgruntled former date that I thought would be highly entertaining. I'll try to include more posts like that in the future. I actually have a semi recent mean email from another girl, but I can't post it untill she gets married or leaves the country or something.

That does remind me of a funny story from days back at Weber State. I was on my way back to the dirt pile parking lot across from Lynn Lecture Hall. I had had a tough day of spanish, racquetball and trig, and was not looking forward to a long night of helping old ladys do color copies for thier scrapbooks at my night job at the alphagraphics in west valley(ask me for a miracle). I was even more scared of girls then than I am now, so imagine my surprise and excitement to see a cute little note on my car as I approached the once crowded lot. It was on a pink 3"x5" card and I could see it was big cutesie girl handwriting in shiny purple ink. My mind raced to think what female it could have been from, or maybe it was a SECRET admirer. My heart beated in my chest and my face went red as I snatched it up discretely to read. "Learn how to park.... asshole" was all it said. I think I kept it for atleast 2 years.

Just a head count please.

I'm pretty sure no one reads this blog. Maybe my awesome sister LaNae sometimes. Hi LaNae. Except probably not even her after starting back up at work again this week. Anyway I'd be REALLY interested to see who actually checks in on this thing every once in a while... so please just leave a comment with your name. IF YOU DARE

Girls are mean.

yep.

Reasons why life is good (in no particular order)

a. It's Halloween time. Halloween is the most fun of all the holidays. It's hard to say it's the best because Christmas usually involves a lot more time off work and more meaningful reminders and stuff.... But Halloween allows you to act like an idiot which i do too much anyway, but on halloween i can be proud of it and not feel ashamed. This year my costume will likely be lame because I am putting most my extra holiday time into making a scary pinata. The original plan was to have it's various anatomical parts filled with fake blood, intestines, and brains, etc so when the party-goers finally break it they will hopefully be splashed in horrifying gore. I had it all figured out too, BUT i think that one might have to wait for a party at my own place so i dont stain the hosts' lavish furnishings.

b. The UTES are undefeated. Who knows if it will last the season with that offense sputtering through wins, but it is fun. I have season tickets this year with my 2 best friends and it has been a sweet sweet ride.

c. The NBA season tips off tonight for the Jazz.

d. The MPJH competitive men's league tips off for me on monday night. If you're a girl and I invite you to see me play, it most likely means I like you and want to use you to play better (I have twice the energy when I'm showing off)
related good news- My weak ankle has tightened back up quite a bit and hasnt been an issue this summer, althought it still snaps every other step.

e. The weather is awesome.

f. My car still runs (sort of)

g. I heard they are making a Ghostbusters 3.

d. I've noticed a few other people finally giving Karate Kid the much deserved praise that it merits.

e. I'm dirt poor and I don't care. You may think this isn't a good thing, but then think how bad off i'd be if I was dirt poor and DID care...

ok im sick of typing so i just need to think of one good last one to finish it off. hmmmm
oh I no longer have a cold! just a slight cough that lingers around from time to time. Was that good enough? probably not.

I have high hopes for my nephew.

Ok so it's been almost a month since I posted anything here. Usually I try to avoid posting lame ramblings that mean nothing to anyone but me. I especially try to avoid posting things that will expose me as dumb. I know someone who knows someone who constantly blogs about her shoes and tablecloths, oh yeah and also comments on TV shows. I saw her blog once and although i previously had no opinion on her, I now find her to be dumb. That being sad, since i have nothing really to talk about I will comment on those 3 things.

Shoes-I like shoes. Wilma says I have too many shoes. They are good for walking around and other activities that could possibly damage my toes or other foot areas.

Tablecloths- I've been sitting here for atleast 1 minute trying to think of something to do with them. I hope to have more to say on the subject at a later date.

TV shows. I expected the office to be bad again this season. I love all the seasons of the office except the last one. It was really bad to me. They came too far away from the normal redundancy of the workplace and suttle humor that made it so funny. They overdid almost all the characters making what were believable little quirks we can all relate to, into large character flaws or extreme behavior that took it out of the realm of relating to the viewers. If you don't believe this sacrelidge of which i speak go back and watch any episode last season.
The good news is last thursday was much better than last season and hopefully they bring it back to it's roots.

Other stuff that's going on

My parents' house is very very slowly being remodeled. i hope thier marriage survives the process. (im kidding. it will)

Ebony is immune to shock collars.

BYU fans are far less prevalent in the Aves than they were in Bountiful and I LOVE it. I havent had to hear a single person brag about them this whole season.

I offered my highly coveted guest ticket to Oregon State vs Utah tomorrow night to someone on sunday. This person has put me in pickle by answering "probably", but that they'd tell me for sure the next day. Now the game is tomorrow and it's still a maybe. Females, try to answer "yes" or "no" to social outings involving tickets. Males, take your Ute loving buddies to things like this, and try not to cast your crimson pearls before the neutral colored swine just because you aren't creative enough to think up a real date.

Ok thats about enough random banter for one afternoon.

HARD GUY PICTURE

Every male needs one.

Some Sagebrush

but it seemed so funny at the time

Would you rather "Surrender the Booty" or "Prepare to be Boarded"?

Salesmonster Grover

Does anyone else remember that Sesame Street bit, when grover tries to sell kermit a toothbrush? Kermit is like "I don't even have teeth, go away" Then Grover tries to sell him a set of false teeth. By now Kermit is pissed. Grover persists to the point that they get in a big fight. Dust flies. Muppet hair gets tossed into the air, and when they stop fighting and look around kermit has a huge mouth full of brand new fake teeth. Guess which celebrity he looks just like?

Ever since Ghost Rider flashed me that big smile full of new veneers I've been trying to pin point where I had seen it before. If anyone has a pic of fake teeth Kermit PLEASE, I need it to prove my point to the world.

My Name Ideas

Ok so one of my 2 favorite sisters is pregnant and due to have her 1st son and my first nephew in about a week. Here's my official list of awesome boy names for them to use:

Fulsom
Optimus
Juice
Giacomo
Filiberto
Tobias
Illusion
Rancor
Juan Ramon
Yao
Miagi
Ma'afala
Wilson
Joel 2
Wario
Neildiamond
Bill Beau
Ozzy
Milsap
Emiliano
Gilbert
Cuthbert
Jebidiah
Turbo
Han
Perciville
Ralph
Raulf
Raul
Nichodemus
Sweetness
Clovis
Grim
Samwise
The Rocketeer
Jo-Jo
Siler
Doctor
Rampage
Jazz
Casper
Chauncey
Johnritter
Money
Hopscotch
Hibbert

And of course my favorite: Gaston

We lost another softball game last night. I went 2/3 with a single and 3 run homer. I don't usually hit home runs, but I do usually fly out or hit wussy grounders while over swinging to try to hit one out. I used to be a good outfielder, but I dropped another one last night. Maybe I just thought I used to be a good outfielder. I often wonder what I could have done in baseball had I tried it. I know Gary would have liked that. Hmmm. Ps "Bonesaw" is our team name which is awesome. It barely beat out "Action's Ham" and if you like the logo, I designed it.

I'm sort of proud of this project. It was kind of a temporary full size installation just off the shoreline trail near Red Butte Gardens. Unfortunately it only stood for a few days because our college professor failed to attain the necessary permission to install such items on protected land. We were lucky though... some groups never even got to put thier stuff up.

If you want to be a boxer. You can't be scared to take a punch.

I miss making stuff like this.

This is a 5 minute sketch of one of Santiago Calatrava's buildings at the City of Science in Spain. I used to try to do one sketch a day. That's definately something I need to resurrect.

That reminds me.... I highly recomend going on a vacation without a camera sometime. Or atleast limit yourself to like 2 camera pics a day. Take a sketchbook or a notebook and just either draw or write to express the place you are visiting. It forces you to really feel and digest the place, rather than just snap a shot and say "look at me, see how I went there?" Instead you sit and notice how the place is. You draw or write what you feel, and you capture THAT instead of just some picture. It really has improved a lot of my vacations.

So yesterday they made me executive secretary in my singles ward. It's really not all that different from what I have been doing as Ward Clerk, but for some reason It feels like a huge change to me. It ties me down a lot....prevents me from weekend trips spilling over into sunday, stuff like that. It kind of also has made me feel a little bit like I'm done being a goof off, which stinks in a way, but is also ok.

Lynn (my brother) is now moved in and I officially have my 1st non-missionary companion roommate. I'm sure the Apt will be a little bit messy most of the time, but there are worse things.

This last weekend I got to spend friday night and saturday up near mirror lake at my uncles cabin. It was nice to just not be at my apt, work, or church building. We went on a pretty cool hike saturday. It was only about 5 miles but thats pretty good considering we did it with a pregnant girl (my sister LaNae). I drove home by myself that night while everyone else stayed. There's something really enjoyable to me about driving long distances by myself. I guess being alone in general is very restfull to me because I'm an a huge introvert by nature. Over the years I've learned to come out of the shell and function successfully in large groups but it does kind of wear on me and when I really tired I still close off a little.

A few weeks ago I spent way too much on a new mtn bike, but I'm trying to get out on it as much as possible. I also started running a couple times a week, and playing basketball at least once a week. I really miss the days when I could bike the loop 3 times a week and played ball almost every day.

Scary Monkey

This is a pretty scary monkey. I think he's from my brother's halloween countdown to horror.

Ok enough fiddling with the font. I was just deleting old emails and found one from a girl with whom I went on one blind date. Just one date mind you. After the date she kept inviting me to do stuff, and rather than inventing excuse after excuse I wrote her an email explaining that I was not interested in persuing anything in that direction. I swear to whoever may be reading this that I was not rude. Honest? Yes. Upfront? Yes. Cruel? I sure didn't think so. Anyway without further adu here is her response..... enjoy

Gee!!!! Excuse me for taking the time to say hello to you.I assure you that I will not do it again. I have so many good friends that love me and respect me. Too bad that you seem to think I am not good enough to be a part of your life. When did I ask you for anything other than friendship? When did I express a romantic interest in you? What good is it that you are so handsome when your uglyness reaches your bones? The truth is that you are not man enough to tell me that I don't fit the bill as to the type of friends you like to keep. I thought that it was heavenly father's job to judge. I pity the fact that you did not allow us to share laughter, that you kept yourself exclusive for those who you think deserve it, and that you missed out on a super interesting girl like me. The day that you a moping over your Gatorade because you cannot find an understanding and sincere woman...you will remember. From the way that you have spurned my friendship, I conclude that you are not doing things right, that you are not honoring your priesthood and...do you know what? I run away like hell from men like you.

So there you have it.

Lessons Learned: (1)Uglyness can be a bone disease.
(2)Some guys apparantly mope over Gatorade

Inapropriate Comment:
Maybe her "running away like hell" from me got her into some kind of a routine, which I think could really benefit her.

Hmmmmm

Alright then I guess I'm blogging. That font was bad. So this Isnt really for other people, not that I care if they read it, but it's more of any easy way to keep a journal or just write some of my stupid theories down.

Theory #1- Theories are mostly pointless but cool anyway.