Cancer Sucks, and not just for the normal reasons.

So I worked for a couple years at a place after my mission, and in the process became friends with a few of my fellow employees. One them was a really funny semi-sarcastic gal that we shall call "Ramona" (that's not even close to Ashley is it?) The friendship consisted of lots of joking, a little bit of the regular office gossip, and an occasional lunch trip with our other worker pals. Nothing "tight" but still good enough friends I would say. So eventually I went to grad-school and left that job. She transferred offices, got married, and had a kid, as is the human tradition. A couple years later we became facebook friends. She ocassionally posts funny things on which I comment from time to time and vice versa. This is how our very limited friendship has remained. Today that friendship has ended. (*frightening beat* -"dooh dooh dooh")

Now before I explain the gorey details of this untimely facebook friendship death, there is something the reader (and I know there aren't many) needs to understand about me. Something I thought "Ramona" knew... I find inapropriate things to be funny. Theres just something to be said for putting your foot in your mouth.

I have joked about dead people hugging Jesus. I have laughed out loud during very somber family prayers, I almost got kicked out of scout camp at age 13 for sarcastically challenging a 40 yr old leader from another troop to fight for the rights to a lame rope swing hanging over a tiny stream. I once pulled a YSA group into feeling massive amounts of guilt for laughing at comments I made about how Jesus (who I love profoundly and truly believe would crack a smile over some brotherly banter) would probably suck at basketball for various inapropriate reasons.

None of these things were helpful to me to become a better a person, or beneficial to anyone involved in any way, BUT they have all added a sort of flavor to certain instances in my past that I still think back on and can't help but smile. Sometimes I just think of things that are so "not ok to say" that I just have to say them regardless of the consequences, just to see what will happen. You may say "No Joel, you don't have to say them. We all are free to choose." But those who would say that, don't understand me and probably wouldn't be very fun to hang out with.

Now this is not an excuse for the following behavior I exhibited; Rather an explanation of why I had to do what I did.

The following is copied directly from "Ramona's" Facebook status:

"Christmas will come early for a five year old Michigan boy this year. Noah Biorkman is battling cancer and is not expected to live much longer. Noah's family is celebrating Christmas next weekend (November 13th and 14th) and Noah loves Christmas cards. Noah's mom is asking for Christmas cards for her son. Please take the time to send a card or letter to: Noah Biorkman, 3480 Petoskey Way, Milford, MI 48380"

I very wrongly commented on her post:

"Dear Noah,
Thanks for bumming us all out this holiday season by getting cancer. You have ruined Christmas for everyone!"

Another of Ramonas friends posts: "WOW"

I then left my computer and went to FHE. This morning when I came in to work, I went to the original post to see the hatred and bitterness that I was sure to recieve as a side effect. Alas, she had deleted my post and no one else had commented. I thought it was probably ok because I wasn't feeling like having to deal with the backlash anyway, and I felt a little bad for making Ramona, who knows me and would probably think it was at least kind of funny at some level, have to deal with my immaturity on an issue she obviously felt strongly about. To get a feel for her thoughts on it I posted "Hey! Where's my comment?"

She replied with:

"I can't believe you posted that comment. You are such a loser. Have a freakin' heart. It is one thing to be funny, but that was just immature and inappropriate. I have been meaning to "un"friend you over it, but can't do that one my work computer. Maybe later tonight, jerk!"

Well she somehow managed to unfriend me 5 minutes later, rather than later tonight. I tried to explain myself in another post but I was blocked from commenting. I did send her a personal email however stating that there was no way this story could be true and it was probably some stupid internet hoax..... Then I googled the kid and found out it is legit. Oops.

And so ends the friendship....

I guess I deserved it. I guess it's ok for you to hate me for finding joy in saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. I guess I should grow up. I guess Ramona is probably right. But maybe.... just maybe one of you read my horrible comment and felt a little bit guilty for smiling, or even letting a small burst of laughter-like air bubbles exit your lungs before you thought about how wrong it was, and began plotting my death. And if one, JUST ONE of you did either of those things.... I say to one and all, the laid back folk and the people with objects lodged tightly up thier rears alike, and with not enough remorse to ruin my day"It was worth it"

(If you are my fb friend and now choose to unfriend me and never read this crappy blog again, I will understand, but just remember... My next blog will be a hypothetical, yet soon to be very possible, preview on who would win a 1 on 1 basketball game between little Noah, and Jesus. Stay tuned.)