Aging OUT

So we have survived the first wave of bitter knuckleheads and attention starved females pointing fingers at slacker guys after this last general conference's theme of "get your butt married". It has initiated massive amounts of articles, blogs, tweets, and (can you still believe it?) real conversation on the topic. At first I thought I'd have mixed feelings on the issue, but I don't think I do. I'm 31, not close to changing my single status, and now looking in on the YSA wards that most say hold the key to getting married. I'm a proud person, which usually has me looking outward to find blame for failures that occur in my life. This time though, I must admit, I'm totally fine placing all the blame squarely on my own shoulders.

Many of my fellow Mormon Menaces are quick to point out how frustrating it is to hear the brethren speak of how things were "back in the day". How they just called on a girl till they fell in love and then got married. "Things are so different now" they all say to me, expecting a wholehearted agreement. One article I read placed all the blame on the single women. The author was clearly upset at getting chastened for not being married, while the women he was trying to date were off the hook even though THEY were the ones not marrying him. What a crock! Not really...

The fact of the matter is the brethren are right. We need to get married to someone. They want that happiness for us. They know we wont be happy married to a girl who obviously doesnt like us. (shoot for people in your price range folks)

I'd say the guys that are bitter about how conference went down should re-listen to Elder Scott's talk. He just talked about all the joys he found from marriage and then let the listeners decide if that was something we'd want. He didn't talk about how hot she looked in jeans or how many of his dude friends told him he landed a super hot babe. Rather he spoke of the joys he found learning and growing together. I'm sure he also enjoyed her physical beauty to a degree but the real joy he spoke of was much deeper. It of course is something we'd all want.

The other talks were a little bit more about how things were "back in the day" which yes, can be hard to relate to, but how about we view those talks much like we would any Book of Mormon story? We need to liken the scriptures to ourselves.

I find it very hard to believe that a solid member of the church is capable of likening Nephi's stories to him or herself but can't slightly adapt the situations of the apostles dating stories to find the lesson for us. I've never been told by an angel to behead anyone, yet I still think that story helps me be confident that doing God's will is the best thing I can do, regardless of how difficult I may find it.

I'll bet it was still scary for President Monson to call on a girl back then, whether it be at her home, or a barnraising dance or whatever ancient social events were done back then. It was probably the same kind of scary as it is for me to pick up a phone and call some girl I'd like to get to know better and see if she's willing to make some time for me. In both those situations I'll bet we felt a little more like Laban as far as sticking our neck out to the mercy of the female sword.

Just because we are spoiled in this day and age and it's so easy to be connected, doesn't mean we should get out of this life without having to stick our neck out and risk our own egos to get a date. Girls back then could say no just as easy as they can now. If you don't believe me go watch pride and prejudice. If you don't know what that is call your sisters.

Now I must walk away from the bounteous fields of the YSA wards to the very geographic ward many of the brethren themselves belong to. The Canyon Road Ward meets at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building and has an average age around 70 years old. There I will likely hear many questions about why a handsome young feller like myself is still single. I'll be told wives are great bedwarmers to keep the heating bill down in the winter. I may even be asked if I'm one of them "fruits". I'm sure I haven't yet heard them all. Maybe I'll take a notebook to write to document things.

Here's my point. If me hearing that stuff is what it takes to put dating at the forefront of my mind then let me hear that stuff. If the brethren have to give talks at conference to get me to turn my focus toward marriage then why can't I trust that that's exactly what I should do? I guess if it was something I knew I should do but really didn't want to, it would be different. Like if they said we should all shun Dr Pepper (officially).

I heard Elder Scott's talk, I saw my parents marriage growing up, I talk to my married friends, I've seen the Brady Bunch, Saturday's Warrior, and an occasional episode of Sister Wives, and all these things make me want to accomplish the task more than anyone else wants me to (not poligamy). It makes me feel loved when people desire that I have a good thing that they've experienced, even if old people are horrible at how they present ideas to my generation.

Most of all I know it's what God wants for me, and therefore I'm going to hear it from His reps on Earth without crying whining or pushing off the message onto others. The message is for me and I need to hear it. They aren't asking me to behead anyone like Nephi. And though at times I would definately prefer that to dating, it's the task at hand and It's gotta get done. That's all.