Origal status: Who wants to go to a coffee shop tonight and slap some hipsters with me? It will be like carroling but more fun.
December 15, 2010 at 2:51pm ·LikeUnlike · Comment
A.J., J.S,B.L and 3 others like this..
R.V.H: slap some hipsters?
D.O: Done and done.
Joel Adams: We'll be hipster slappers, or "Hipslapsters" I like it.
A.S.: Bwhwhaaaaaa... I'll probably be there enjoying the hipster's quirkiness and enjoying some hot chocolate. I'll watch. And take pictures of you all. Perfect!
Joel Adams: Slap her D.O. Then we can take her camera and take pictures of athletes and deer while she's not looking.
D.O.: I do love pictures of athletes and deer ...
A.S.: Why don't you slap me, Adams? Are you scared?
Joel Adams: Yes. Yes I am.
N.W.: I want to come!
J.W.: That sounds like the perfect Christmastime activity! I wish I could come...boo for me.
S.Y.: You guys are gay. Hipsters are becoming more and more rare these days, as they realize that no one gives a crap if you look different if you can't make stuff happen. You should protect the waning population of hipsters. And take pictures of them in their natural habitat. Like deer.
J.W.: they don't look different. they look just like everyone else. just messier.
S.Y.: You're right. Which is why I am changing my position. Beat those messy turds! Seriously get a haircut, Ellen!
D.O.: Nothing says Christmas like hipster slapping.
J.W.: i can't believe you are all just catching on. this has been a tradition in my family for years. of course, they lived in seattle...
T.K.: leave hipsters alone
J.W.: um, they, by definition, don't care about this discussion, or even believe it really applies to them... but i love you T.K!
Joel Adams: The thing is a hipster doesn't even realize he is one untill it's often too late. He just tries to be like his other friends... hit all the scenes... eat all the humus. Then, one day he looks in the the mirror through his non prescription... thick framed glasses at his mop head hair style and trimmed to look untrimmed beard.
As his glance lowers from his v-neck- always brown sweater to his canvas shoes with no socks he notices his pants and realizes why he hasn't produced any testosterone in the last 2 years. He tries to sob. He wants to feel pain, but cannot. He has become a hipster and can no longer love anything but woven items and things made by Mac. His parent's still love him, but cant stand to talk to him. His girlfriend loves hating him almost as much as she loves looking like a vietnamese hooker wrapped in a rucksack. 
He has nothing now. Nothing but vintage salt and pepper shakers from one of those antique stores in Logan. Sadly he wanders into a coffee shop full of others like him. All trying to be different in exactly the same way. He sits down, sips his tea, and gets slapped in the face, by a hipslapster. He feels a rush of emotion and is overwhelmed by the touch of another human soul. He hates what he's become.
M.F.:LOL
J.W.: so...you're really performing service tonight! i always knew you were a do-gooder, joel...
Joel Adams: Tis the season.
D.O.: I ♥ service.
S.S.: Count me in ... when and where!?
S.Y.:We should knock them out and sew yellow patches in the shape of off-brand horn-rimmed sunglasses on their jackets. But I won't be there tonight.
Joel Adams: The thing tonight is fake anyway.
T.K.: Hating on a hipster is so much more cliche than being one.
Joel Adams: I think you're confusing hating and slapping.
S.Y.: T.K with the body blow! Good one! Although BEING a hipster just has to be miserable, they just don't admit it. At least the rest of us admit that we live in misery. Then promptly do our best to alleviate the pain by bringing others down.
N.W.: You mean by slapping them?
Joel Adams: My favorite hipsters are the ones that are pure lumberjack from the waist up and 14 year girl from the waste down.
It's such a fascinating and successful contrast. If you want to see an example, go to what they call "Sugarhouse" (the liberty park area) right now and find one of the many houses with a party going on. You will surely see a posse of these lumberboppers loafing outside on the porch. If you compliment them on their scarves they will hug you and give you a business card to their up and coming new company.A.N.: Joel it sounds like you really know what a hipster is. And the hate is seething through. Anytime you want to slap one I am game just by your description of them. I should focus my slapping on a specific group anyways.
S.C.: Yes please.
